Connection

The stereotype is that all the stars must be perfectly aligned for a wife to want to have sex.

That's an exaggeration, of course, but there is some truth to the fact that some people (including some wives) do need or want an emotional component to sex.

For me, physical intimacy is often connected to emotional intimacy. Lots of examples come to mind, but it turns out that there are some things that I don't want to share here! Even if they are good stories. At least, not tonight.

If I feel fat, or have had a bad day, or am tired, or angry with my husband, I don't feel much like having sex. Probably, I don't feel very sexy, either.

That said, once Paul and I really confronted the changes in our relationship, once we started honestly discussing how very wrong things had gone, our physical relationship improved dramatically.

That seems odd to me, but I am beginning to understand that sometimes it's good to be connected, one way or another. And once I realized that the emotional connection I'd always thought we'd had was at best severely damaged, then the physical connection became much more important.