If you won a lottery, would you quit your job?

That was a newspaper headline this morning, a variation on the other lottery-themed headlines I've been watching for the past couple of weeks. I don't gamble. The lottery is gambling. Therefore, no lottery for me. But I really love the If I Won the Lottery game and I'm not sure my principles are up for the challenge.

I already don't "work." But there's lots of other stuff I'd do if I won the lottery . . .

1. Pay off everything. Loans, house, that pesky credit card, everything.
2. Go see our finance guy and set up everything we need to set up (including revised budgets).
3. Church (organ fund, mission fund, new parking lot, etc.).
4. Donations to our college, NPR, PBS, and local places we love like The Magic House, St. Louis Science Center, etc.
   
   Here's where the list really gets fun. This is where I usually start fantasizing:
   
5. Pay off this sibling's outstanding debts.
6. Pay off this other sibling's mortgages/student loans
7. Buy a new house for yet another sibling.
8. Buy my mother-in-law a red Mustang convertible.
9. Remodel my parents' house.
10. Encourage Paul to go back to school.
11. When the kids are all in school all day, go back to school, myself.
    
    And then there's the stuff for us that's fun to imagine:
    
12. Remodel this house.
13. Buy or build our dream house in our dream neighborhood (only about 3 miles from here).
14. Dress my children in the sorts of clothing I imagined they'd wear, before I had children and experienced the allure of inexpensive sweat-shop produced cheap clothes. And additional pairs of good shoes.
15. When I'm feeling decadent, I imagine all sorts of things for myself, too. A personal trainer. Babysitter. Hair cuts. Pedicures. Nice clothes. (I am very cheap when it comes to spending money on myself for anything other than food.)
16. Thinking of food - a personal chef to make nutritious, delicious meals a few nights a week would be awesome! Or even just someone to do the grocery shopping from time to time. But all this other stuff is second tier. At this point, I usually reload the fantasy and start again with imagining making my siblings' lives easier or just saying "yes" the next time a worthy cause calls to ask for money.

This pastime is one of my guilty pleasures. I don't find the game particularly constructive. It's fun. It helps me identify my priorities. But eventually I just end up wanting. And I'm not sure that's such a good thing.

Electric Youth!

Did you ever wear Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth perfume in 1980's? I did.

Imagine my surprise when, after slathering my face with my brand-new overnight cream, I discovered what Revlon Cosmetics did with their leftover stock of the fragrance: apparently they sold it to Oil of Olay!

On an unrelated note, this morning started out oddly. Paul got the girls dressed and Ellie out to her bus while I slept in. (I slept late not because I'm lazy but rather because I was up early with the baby.) So far nothing unusual.

Paul showered and dressed for work as I fed Teddy (again) and helped Ada apply sunscreen. As we gathered in the kitchen for last minute cups of coffee and snacks to go, Paul looked down at the baby.

"I'm taking Teddy to work this morning."

OK! "You might want to grab a bottle out of the frig and a clean outfit from the dresser. Diaper bag's in the car."

I took Ada to Camp Tiny Tots, grocery shopped all by myself, then picked up Teddy from Paul's office around 10:00 am. It was lovely to have an hour or so to myself this morning. But I think the best part of it was the sheer spontaneity. And it worked out great! Paul loved showing off his son at work, Teddy grinned and giggled at everyone, and I got a week's worth of grocery shopping done in 30 minutes.

Lovely start to the day, even if my face does smell a little funny.

Ellie Is a First Grader!

This week clobbered us a bit with end-of-year busyness - including gift procurement. We make end-of-term gifts for the girls' teachers and helpers.  Since the number of gifts is usually  between one and two dozen, economics are a factor in our decision about what to make, as is time.  This year we wanted to do something the girls could help with (ruling out hot wax) and slightly healthy if food-related.

From a book of such ideas, we decided on dipped strawberries that were supposed to look like balloons against a blue sky (photo at left).

The instructions made this look very easy. I've melted candy and dipped foods into it before (pretzels, crackers, etc.). We had containers, foam, food coloring, and wooden kabob skewers. All we needed were the strawberries! Couldn't be easier, right?

The girls loved the idea. They loved helping. Ada helped me wrap the foam and push it into the containers. Both girls helped dip strawberries and sampled the chocolate. But there were some hang-ups.

1. It turns out that liquid (including food coloring) ruins candy coating and powdered food coloring isn't readily available at the 11th hour.
2. And produce stand strawberries aren't necessarily as long lasting and resilient as store-bought giant monstrosiberries.
3. Also, as with all such projects, tiny time-sucks like hot gluing fluffy clouds and tying tiny ribbons kept Paul and me up past 2:00 am.

So there were a couple extra trips to the store and some modifications to the design. Results:



Hopefully they tasted good.

Horses Built by Committee

Dear, State of Missouri,

Can you explain your reasoning to me?  I understand the concept of Prohibition.  I "get" dry counties.  I even grasp the reasoning behind disallowing alcohol sales on Sundays.  I understand liquor licenses, laws determining why certain locations can sell alcohol while others can't, and even the seventh inning stretch (sort of).

But why oh why do you restrict the sale of alcohol on Sunday nights after midnight?  What logic is behind that decision?  Who does it benefit?  What purpose does it serve?

On the other hand, who does it annoy?  I'll tell you the answer to that one: people like me who occasionally do our weekly grocery shopping late at night after all other family responsibilities are completed.  Or sleeping.

And now I have to make a trip back later in the week for the Yellowtail Merlot I so deviously attempted to purchase as 1:02 a.m. 

I did attempt to look up state regulations to cite here.  But that mess is ridiculously complicated (in length, scope, and verbiage).  Seriously.  I recommend starting over.  The first step is a simple statement of purpose in everyday language.  Now keep that in front of you as you write the law, using as few words as necessary to convey your intent.  Good grief.

Sincerely,
--Sarahlynn Resident

Got Wood?

As we near our first ever homemade-gifts-only holiday season, I have a question.

Do you have any idea where I might procure several large tree stumps?

My only idea is to call local tree service companies and ask if I can follow them around for a day. I'd rather not do that.

Knock Knock Knock. Did I catch you at a bad time?

Long long ago and far far away, I was a Girl Scout. Wearing the uniform to school quickly became uncool, but it never bothered me too much. What I really hated was selling those cookies door to door. It's not the selling that bothered me as much as the door to door part. I don't mind selling when someone's shown some indication that they're interested in the product. But interrupting people in their homes? Blech.

Ellie starts Daisy Scouts this week, but we're far away from cookie sales. Her school, on the other hand, does a big fundraiser every fall. This one is pretty great as fundraisers go. Really thick, nice quality wrapping paper and Belgian chocolates. Better, it's the only fundraiser of the year! And proceeds benefit the Parent Teacher Organization which pays for great things for the school. (Under consideration for this year are defibrillators and new furniture for the computer lab, among other projects.)

I've been trying to prepare myself to go door to door with Ellie, and then a great thing happened. One of the first grade classes cheated! The order forms were supposed to come home with all the kids last Thursday, but on Wednesday night we met a first grader from around the corner finishing up her walk around our subdivision. She beat us to the punch! This is great! Now we don't have to go door to door.

But I do want to support the effort. So here we are! If you're interested in buying wrapping paper or chocolates and you'd like the proceeds to benefit Ellie's fantabulous school, click below. Unlike the paper forms and cash orders of yesteryear, it's all about easy online shopping now.

Thanks!

A message from "Ellie" (as generated by the vendor):

My school's annual fundraiser with Innisbrook has begun. Innisbrook Wraps has beautifully designed gift wrap printed on quality recycled paper, coordinating gift wrap accessories, gourmet foods and fine Helen Grace Chocolates that make great gifts, Time Inc. magazine subscriptions, and more.

For every item that is purchased, Innisbrook donates up to 50% of the purchase price to my school. I also earn a prize credit for every item purchased except school supplies. The more prize credits I earn, the more prizes I win!

Please consider visiting the Innisbrook website and making a purchase on my behalf. A link is included below. Our sale will be over soon, so don't wait. Place your order today.

Thanks for your help!

Click the link below to visit Innisbrook.com and they will recognize me and my school automatically.

Click here to shop.

I Used To Be an Editorial Ass

Because I'm too busy Christmas shopping to post tonight, I'll highlight one of my favorite editor blogs, written by Moonrat: Editorial Ass: I work in publishing and I like to read things. Herewith: free association on books, nice things I ate, publishing, editing, and other nice things I ate.

And in particular, I'll point you to her recent post suggesting some great books to give as gifts this year - many of which are available in paperback!

In case you're wondering, the Editorial Ass is not a jerk. In fact, she's really very nice. She's also a former (now promoted) Editorial Assistant. Which can be a grueling, thankless, and very poorly paid position.

***

Edited to add a completely unrelated question. What does the term "natural causes" mean when you're talking about a college freshman? (I'm thinking "traditional" first year student, rather than an older student, because I can't imagine anyone else choosing to live in Ruby.)

Tea for You and NOT for Me

I don't like tea. Most people don't know this about me, especially those who have been to my house. I have an entire shelf of tea above my cookbook collection. I have so many different bags of so many different types of tea that my inadvertent amassment has long overflowed its decorative basket and now comprises a bunch of stacked boxes next to the full basket.

People see this impressive stash, assume that I must like tea, and give me more. And I accept it. Why?

Well, partly it's because I think I should like tea. My mom likes tea. Mystery lovers and writers are supposed to love tea. And sometimes the packaging is just irresistible. I mean, Bigalow's Eggnogg'n? Who could resist?

I have always billed myself as a lover of chai. But it turns out even that's not true. Because I really hate Tazo chai, and that's all anyone wants to serve these days. What I LOVED was Borders chai, especially the special autumn Pumpkin Spice Chai, but really any Borders chai would do, and I can still taste it as I type, the phantom taste flooding my head with memories of delightful evenings at the bookstore burning my tongue on the too-delicious-to-wait chai while snooping through magazines, then peeling apart from my spouse to peruse the stacks in search of literary treasures.

Alas, for some time now, Borders has been serving Tazo chai. I wrote to complain, of course, and learned that I really am the only American who hates Tazo chai.

But if you know the distributor who created the chai for Borders and might be selling it under a different name, I'd love to hear it!

And, as a side note to Borders: Apparently you're experiencing some financial distress. I put it to you that perhaps the blame doesn't lie solely with the credit crunch. Perhaps, PERHAPS, there's bad chai karma involved.

Christmas Shopping

I started Christmas shopping before September, and was mostly finished before December. I have a closet (inconveniently located in the guest room) where I keep presents to be given in the future.

I did most of my shopping via catalogs and the Internet this year. I think there's something to be said for making decisions about what gift to buy for each person on your list while sitting comfortably in the quiet of your home, rather than in a store where merchandise always looks most appealing and you begin to feel like maybe your little sister really would like that thing in the corner, and maybe it's got character rather than being simply ugly as you first thought. And if you buy it you can leave now and be all done. So, hopefully, the gifts we got for people are stuff they'll really use or appreciate rather than just gifts for the sake of spending money and giving something.

There's also something to be said for not popping into and out of stores with an infant or toddler in tow.

In my defense, I also ought gifts at 3 independent, locally owned, little downtown shops in our town. But I'm still planning to go to the mall later today, even though I don't strictly need anything from there. It just seems wrong to me, somehow, to not set foot in the mall even once during the holiday shopping rush. And of course that's wrong all by itself.