I nearly lost Ellie on Saturday.
We were at an incredibly intense birthday party, in the Galleria. Friends 2B Made is, apparently, Build-A-Bear for tween girls. This party comprised 2 to 4 year-olds, not quite tweens, so this presented some challenges.
For example, most of the mamas spent the entire time hunched over nearly double, running around the store, trying to corral little girls into paying attention to the right thing at the right time. "No, not in your mouth!" is probably not something the sales clerks hear every day, but I'm sure they heard it a lot last Saturday. Ellie certainly seemed to think that the plastic curling iron looked like something that would taste good if just sucked hard enough.
At one point, Ellie and I were hanging out in the "hair salon" portion at the back of the store, while most of the other mother/daughter couples were kickin' it near the registers up front. The cashier was calling Ellie's name insistently (presumably to ring up her doll) so I left Ellie trying to sit on the doll's salon chair and went up to take care of the Visa part of the affair.
Once up front, I waited. And waited. And waited, occasionally craning my neck to try to spot Ellie in the back of the store. At one point, I told my friend Laura that I'd misplaced my daughter.
"Oh, she's back there with Vivi," Laura said, and walked to the back by the girls. I rested a little more easily, still keeping an eye on the wide open front of the store so that no little girls could sneak past me, and continued waiting.
Just as it was finally my turn to buy a fairy princess outfit for Ellie's new doll, a woman walked into the store and came up to the counter.
"There's a little girl out in the mall. She has a nametag from this store on her back, and it says Ellie."
Well, that's just about heart stopping. I ran out into the mall, and immediately I saw Ellie out on a little peninsula over where they like to flood the center of the Galleria when there's no Christmas tree or special art exhibit to be shown. She was apparently planning to go for a fun little wade, except for the nice middle-aged lady holding on to the back of Ellie's jumper.
See, it turns out that Friends 2B Made and Build-A-Bear are actually the same company. And in the spirit of corporate boundarylessness, they've connected the two stores through a small hallway in the back. So even if a mama is keeping a eye on the front of the store, her little one can still slip through the back and wander out into the mall through Build-A-Bear.
This is a good lesson for me. Not because Ellie and I spend so much time in malls and I need to watch her more closely.
No, I was starting to feel pressure to do something really cool for her third birthday in October, but I am reminded now how much I do not want to do this. Instead, we will have a traditional party here at the house, with 3 friends (and their parents) invited, complete with homemade cake and games like ring around the rosie and duck duck goose. The key is the enclosed environment. Enclosed! Like locked and child-proofed doors!
The kids probably won't rave about it at school for the next 12 months, but then again, they probably wouldn't rave about a trip to Disney World for that long, either. They're (almost) 3, after all.
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8 comments:
We did an at home birthday party for my 6 year old. The kids had a blast. I think sometimes we over do birthdays. All kids really need is toys and cake & ice cream and maybe some sort of game. My plan skip the extreme birthdays and spend more on toys :).
We were eating at Chevy's in the Mills on Saturday, and I went looking for a restroom to dump out Charlotte's water cup (to replace with the rest of her milk from lunch). I walked back to the table, and Merl gave me a surprised look and asked "Where's Charlotte?" Huh? She apparently had run off behind me, and he assumed that she would easily catch me. That was followed by a few seconds of panic (seemed like a long time, probably lasted 5 seconds tops) as I headed back to towards the entrance looking for her. She hadn't gotten very far, and was standing stock-still looking wide-eyed at all the strange people walking past her. Yikes that was scary!
It makes you appreciate the reason for those toddler leashes that people used to use, even if you would never, ever actually do that to your own child...
PPB, to my surprise, my blood pressure was back to normal at my doctor appointment today. But I'm sure my hair is a bit whiter than it was last week.
Amanda, that's very true. We always had at-home parties growing up, and they were the best birthday parties in town. My mom was so creative and did such a great job scheduling (and running) the parties; everyone always had a blast.
Kristi, how horrifying! I am no longer so judgmental about the leash thingies in scary public places like airports. Now that I've traveled alone with Ellie, I know that sometimes my attention is necessarily diverted (talking to a gate agent, preparing for security) and one instant of inattention is all it takes to lose a toddler.
But twice recently, in relatively "safe" public places (The Science Center, The Magic House) I've seen severely obese parents with apparently developmentally typical pre-schoolers on leashes so that they could sit still in one place without having to run after their kids. (In both cases, overhearing their conversation while my child was playing nearby made it clear what was going on.) And that's just so, so sad.
We won't discuss #2-Son as a non-verbal 5-year-old throwing the deadbolt on the front door and leaving the house without me noticing one afternoon FOUR DAYS after we had moved in. I installed keyed deadbolt doorknobs on all the exterior doors the next day, f*ck the fire danger.
I kept #2-Son on one of those wrist-to-wrist spiral-telephone-cord things until he was in second grade. My mom thought it was ridiculous until...
She and I had all three kids out a Purina Farms. I was in the middle of potty training Daughter, and when they say they have to go, you go FAST. I left my mom watching both boys playing in the maze in the barn and took Daughter over to the restroom in the front building, through the overhead walkway and past the theater and the "how we make dog food" area.
On our way back, I found #2-Son loitering outside the theater. His special-needs class went there two or three times a year and so did we, so he knew his way around pretty well. I snagged him and went back over to the barn to find my mom white as a sheet, calling for him frantically, and #1-Son running through the tunnels yelling for him.
"Lose something?" I asked. She babbled apologies non-stop. I could see she was damnnear in shock from the fright, so I hauled her over to the snack stand and poured a Sprite down her.
She said, "How do you keep track of all three of them?"
I said I had a swivel installed in my neck.
I still hold his hand in parking lots, even though I probably don't need to. It looks funny, I'm sure; he's 14 years old and four inches taller than I am.
I'm a big hand holder especially when my 6 yr old, 3 yr old and I are going someplace without another adult. I have had people suggest to take them someplace fun when I had days off with them alone. I can only say No thank you. I'm a bit paranoid of losing one of my kids. I'd probably go insane if I couldn't find one of them. Thank God they are old enough to know to scream bloody murder if anyone approaches them. But you always wonder in a scary situation when they're alone will they trust the wrong person?
So scary! I have had moments like this and they nearly stop my heart.
I have always done at home b-day parties ; the kids love them and do talk about them afterwards.
Camera, how horrifying! I am absolutely picturing how that might have been at Purina Farms. I'm sure I'd still be handholding 7 years later too.
Amanda, Ellie's finally getting better about letting me hold her hand when we're in public, largely because I ignore her squawking and am consistent, consistent, consistent. But it sucks.
CCW, I bet you give awesome parties.
Aagh, how heart-stopping!!! I'm so so glad you found her! Every Mama's worst nightmare.
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