The Last Name Thing - Part II

What a wonderful discussion below about The Last Name Thing! Thank you to everyone who's been chiming in. I have a couple more things I want to add:

In some ways, The Last Name Thing is more controversial than abortion. In part, this is because most of the people having the discussion are progressives, and most progressives already support a woman's right to choose abortion but are divided on the Last Name issue. Many people who are otherwise quite liberal are OK with women not taking their husbands' names, but only if it doesn't affect their own families.

Certainly, most people don't want to legislate against women keeping their own names. But neither do they want to talk about it.

"It's my choice," is where the discussion often begins and ends.

And that's true. It is our choice as adults to decide what we want to be called.

It is also my choice if I want to wear a cute little pink t-shirt that says, "Math is hard." It's my choice if I want to be an at-home mom.

My point is not that choosing to take your husband's name is equivalent to walking around with "Juicy" on your butt - I don't believe that it is! - but rather that our choices are not made in a vacuum. There's significant social pressure on us to choose what we choose, and our choices effect others.

So while I support my friends who've changed their names, and will vigorously defend them against anyone who's judgmental about their choices, I also think it's important to talk about why it's so often the husband's name that's so freely "chosen" for the family name.

I want it to be more of a real choice for my daughters.