Trustee

I'm a subdivision trustee, but I'm not great at it. In fact, I'm having serious doubts about the whole system.

Sure, I get that it's nice to have a community association that plans neighborhood events, writes a newsletter, and manages the maintenance of signage and common spaces.

I might even concede that it's pleasant to have some standards, like no chain link fences in front yards. And I admit that I experienced a small amount of ugly glee when someone called the county on the conservative Republicans around the block, who somehow found time to plant Bush signs in their yard, but never to do any sort of property upkeep.

But that's getting into really dangerous territory.

One of the other trustees (there are only 3 of us) called me yesterday to talk about his neighbor. It's true that this yard is in desperate need of a cut. And apparently there's a pile of branches somewhere. A sagging swimming pool tarp that might encourage the breeding of mosquitoes. Etc.

So this trustee called St. Louis County to complain. An inspector showed up the next day, and since the trustee was watching out his window, he was right there to pop out and talk with the inspector. The negligent homeowners were charged with 6 violations (long grass, weeds, wood pile, that sort of thing). They have to go to court and they're required to fix all the identified problems within 2 days.

You know, I understand that it's neighborly to keep your yard nice. And I sure like looking at people's nice yards.

But I hate yard work. And, sometimes life gets busy. Sometimes things don't look all that perfect around here either. I know that people don't like the weeds under our mailbox (but I hate pulling them because they're covered with the pee of all of the neighborhood's dogs). I bet that our (temporary! I promise!) pile of dead branches isn't a community hit. And sometimes the yard doesn't get mowed quite as often as it should. Should we expect a visit from the county inspector?

See, I think that while it's nice to keep up appearances, it shouldn't be required. What it comes down to, in the end, is that we are homeowners. This is our property. And I know that I sound all libertarian when I say this, but really, I do feel like it's sort of my business what I do on my property.

To some extent. And drawing that line is where the trouble starts. How many feet from the back of the house is that garden shed? Is that new picket fence in your backyard vinyl or wood? Precisely how many inches tall is your lawn? Have you done enough to beautify your mailbox area?

Frankly, I just don't care. And that's why I'm a lousy trustee. I don't like noticing that the pile of soil these folks have had delivered has been in their driveway so long that it's starting to sprout grass, or that the garden tools are visible through the missing door of that shed.

But it's slightly nicer to be in the meetings where this sort of thing is discussed, rather than finding out that there are problems later, and in an ugly manner. I wish that we could all just laugh about it. Surely there are more important uses for our energy, our passion?