Often when I go to pick Ellie up from school on Wednesday afternoons, she's playing by herself. The kids are usually on the playground or in the gym, and her gross motor skills are less developed than those of her peers, so she often sits alone and worn out at the end of a long day while they still have energy to run and climb. Every day, she gets stronger. I know this is true because they tell me so, and because I see it. Every day she has more energy, moves more, does more, lasts longer, wakes earlier, you name it. But still, Ellie is in a class of 2- and 3-year olds, most of whom are older and bigger than she is. And are boys.
I was thrilled when I got to school today and saw Ellie with a group of kids on the playground. They were playing in a little plastic house.
As I got closer, I noticed that she was not happy. In fact, she was alternately fussing in frustration and doing a great job using her signs and words, which were being ignored.
"Hulp! Hulp!" she cried. "Open." She'd pause from signing her version of "help" to tug on the doorknob, which stayed stubbornly shut.
Because a big 3-year-old boy was holding it closed from inside, locking Ellie out. In fact, about three kids were inside that little plastic house. Ellie was looking in through the open window in the side, crying plaintively (and asking nicely!) to be let in. And they were ignoring her.
Heartbreaking for any parent to watch. It's probably not the first time. It certainly won't be the last.
7 comments:
I am so sorry that this happened to sweet little Ellie. Just so sorry.
Do you have the feeling that it happens more to Ellie than to other kids? Is it just the general cruelty that kids experiment around with? Or do you think it's aimed directly at Ellie, on purpose? I guess I just had the idea that kids don't really make much note of differences, or rather don't assign negative assessments to differences until age 6 or so.
I hope Ellie has lots of loving kids around her, too.
Moreena, I don't know if it happens more often to Ellie or not. I do know that Ellie is more vulnerable when this sort of thing does happen, since she's just not as strong or quick as the other kids, and, well, she's just different.
Most kids from church are great with Ellie, and I regularly get reports that she was playing with so-and-so at school. I think the problems are more pronouced in larger groups and with less-structured activities.
I do think that kids notice differences early, though. Just like Lizzi the pug hates all other dogs except other pugs, so too is Ellie drawn immediately to other children - older or younger - with Down syndrome. Somehow, she can just tell that they are like her (so maybe that's noticing a similarity rather than a difference).
Ah, I'm so sorry you had to see that and that Ellie was being treated poorly. When things like this happen to Kid L it simply breaks my heart. No parent wants to think their child is being left out.
Sarahlynn,
Scott would like the name and number of that 3 year old boy.
CCW, exactly.
Jessica, I'd give it up in a second, but I don't know the boy. He's from the other class of twos and threes. He was something, though. I've got at least 2 feet on the kid, but his (flat affect, direct stare into my eyes) expression intimidated me. Nonetheless, I pulled the playhouse door open for Ellie and offered her the chance to go inside, while making direct eye contact right back at the kid. (She decided to go bye-bye with mama instead.)
Portia, Ellie's teachers weren't there. One day a week, Ellie stays after preschool for naptime followed by an hour or so of day care. The day care "teachers" are good too, but there's less structure to the environment. Frankly, I don't think the teacher noticed. I didn't notice what was really going on until I got pretty close, and she was supervising a few other kids as well, some of whom were climbing on playground equipment and at greater risk for (physical!) injury.
PPB, yeah.
Oh, man. I hate that.
I agree with Portia. Mean people suck. And, unfortunately, it won't be the last time. Take it from a mother of a senior in high school.
KSDK has a poll about whether people agreed or disagreed about the 5 boys who were suspended for the facebook comments since they were written out of school on their own time. Trust me, any parent who sat in the principal's office with their daughter over what some girls wrote about her on their myspace accounts would never disagree with punishing them even if it was done out of school.
Sometimes you can't fix mean... but we can try!
Post a Comment