Saturday, October 04, 2008

It's Alright to Vent

Today was Ellie's 5th birthday party (her actual birthday is a week from today) and Monday's post will be extra special happy wonderful. Because everything was great and Ellie had a wonderful time. But I didn't, so this is my time to vent. We expected 7 little girls, including our two. We had the table set for 7, favor bags for 7, a clown prepared for 7, etc.

Until, at the last minute, cancel cancel cancel. One girl came, making a total of 3 kids. She's been here before, for most of Ellie's birthday parties, and I'm friends with her mom. So I doubted she'd flake out. There were definitely some really good reasons why some of the girls we'd invited couldn't come, which I completely understand. But the two we expected that didn't show at the last minute, one without even calling? Suckage.

I was going to post a unhappy girl picture from the party, but looking back over the shots we got, there really wasn't one. The decorations were cute. The cake came out well. Both of my girls had a blast. Ellie had a good birthday.

But I'm still a little peeved about the two little girls that Ellie's been talking about wanting to have at her party for weeks, who said that they could come, and just . . . didn't. I'll get over it; Ellie already has.


Reflective said...

That totally sucks. Why are people so rude? Is it a problem with our generation that we're used to not making up our minds until the last minute what we want to do most?

I will confess though to once showing up for a friend's birthday party eight days early because I couldn't read the handwriting on the invitation. (We were nine then, and I still can't read this friend's writing.) So not to make excuses, but maybe the one who didn't call was confused about the date of the party?

HiddenChicken said...

How frustrating and rude! Sounds like Ellie had a great time, though. Still, would have been nice to have been able to plan for three kids in the first place, huh?

I can't wait to see pictures!

datri said...

Oh, that really does suck. I remember my daughter being the only kid in the class of 30 who showed up at a little girl's party. I was so glad we decided to go.

Lynnie said...

Oh, how sad! But if the girls had fun, then definitely focus on that. It would have been SO much worse if your little girl had been upset.

A friend of mine with a teenager told me when I was pregnant that the hardest thing about raising children is seeing them experience disappointment, and I have found that to be SO true.

I'm glad she had fun!

deb said...

I have had this happen before. It's very disappointing - more for me as the party planner than for my boys, thankfully. As they are getting older, I'm trying to move them away from the party notion and we are doing a special trip of their choosing instead.

I don't know what's wrong with people; I understand that things can come up at the last minute - all the more reason to call if it does. In this age of cellphones and blackberries, there's really no excuse not to communicate. But I think a lot of people are so busy and disorganized that they double book and don't even realize it.

Chrystal said...

People are just rude these days, more so than ever. And it sucks. Why anyone thinks this is acceptable behavior, I don't know.

I'm so glad that Ellie enjoyed her party.

Jennifer said...

Not Kewl for those mothers to dismiss your daughter's birthday party. When my son was a baby, my in-laws "forgot" to buy him a Christmas gift and went all out with the presents for his cousins. He was to young to know any better, but I knew and it hurt to know that they didn't think of him. So sorry you had to experience that! I am glad Ellie had a good time, despite the thoughtlessness of her friends & their parents!

Penny L. Richards said...

AARGH! You just don't do that! Inexcusable. Southern Californians are notorious for flaking on RSVPs, but I usually find it evens out--the ones who say they'll come but NEVER do (I invite them anyway, but don't take their rsvp seriously) are canceled out by the ones who never RSVP, then an hour before the party call for directions (uh, okay, thanks for the hour's notice, I'll quickly scribble your kid's name on a goody bag tag so they don't realize mom is so disorganized). Sigh!

Sarahlynn said...

I blew a 2-year-old's party off by accident, once. I failed to put it on my calendar, fell asleep after church, then woke up in a panic mid-afternoon, remembering.

I woke everybody else, called the mom frantically and repeatedly, rushed to the store to buy an excessive present, then showed up late to the party.

Later, I wrote a heartfelt apology to the mom for my rudeness.

Ellie and the little girl - who just happens to have been the same girl who came to Ellie's party this year - recreated the party together, just the two of them, and had a wonderful time. Then we all went out to dinner together and returned home for birthday cake dessert. Fabulous evening.

Normally, Ellie and I talk about it and I get her buy-in, but I invite kids/families we know from church, or the children of my friends.

This year, for the first time, Ellie chose the guests. And she talked about the two who didn't come at the last minute for weeks ahead of time.

But today she came into my bed at 5:30 am to tell me about her party, and who was there: Grandma came, Grandpa came, AboveMentionedFriend came, and "Silly Clown" came.

I'm sure she noticed who didn't come, but she had a wonderful time anyway.

Also, she was extremely polite. She thanked everybody for everything, including me.

It kills me how sweet this girl is, how much I love her.

Yael said...

Happy birthday Ellie. This happened to Tamuz on his 5th birthday. We invited his reschool class and hardly anyone showed up. His cousins were there and his sister so we just acted like everything was ok but I was soooooo angry and upset on his behalf.

Tracey said...

Happy Birthday Ellie!

I am very sorry about the two not showing up. I don't get that behavior of accepting and then just not being there, unless a huge emergency came up. In that case, as soon as it is feasible an apology needs to be issued. I don't know what has happened to basic common courtesy these days!

Sarahlynn said...

Yael, yeah, it's a terrible feeling as the parent, but of course you have to smile and make the party happy for your child.

Tracey, I should have just called you and invited your two over last minute. Who cares that the kids don't know each other?!

ccw said...

The rudeness is downright amazing! To not even call? Who would do that to a 5 year old?

You are probably right that she did notice who was missing but it's wonderful that she had so many others there to share her day.

Sarahlynn said...

CCW, I'm afraid the day is growing ever closer when adults won't be able to substitute for kids for Ellie. I cringe to think of it. But in this case . . . these were other kids with Down syndrome!