Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Self Control

I might be off for a couple of days, funeral-going and whatnot. But I have a new laptop and the hotel has free wi-fi, so many things are possible!

***

I tend to be pretty sympathetic with people I know. But with people I don't know - people who aren't always as real to me . . .

I tend to be most judgmental of others in areas where I'm most judgmental of myself. I assume that's pretty typical.

I suppose it makes sense, then, that my mother often teaches me things then chastises me for them.

Like sanitizing her hands at the door before leaving a visit with my grandfather and then washing thoroughly with soap and water immediately upon arrival at home. And never sitting on the blue chair in his room. But chastising me for being "compulsive" as opposed to "careful" when I exhibit some of the same behaviors.

To my surprise, I really enjoyed Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression, my book club's selection from last month. Not once did I think: Snap out of it! Stop whining! Just get out of bed and live your life. And I don't even know the essay authors. That's a testament to their very, very good writing.

Compulsions, Depression, Eating: when it's about me, it all comes down to self control, really.

2 comments:

kairos said...

Sometimes self-control is a chimera, sometimes it is attainable. Often it is a mix of both.

Safe travels... Peace be with your family...

Sarahlynn said...

Thanks, PPB.

Kairos, thank you. And, also - very true.