Thursday, March 17, 2005

Sliding Doors

I would never want to give up my precious Ellie or my life as it as now.

Still, as I begin the process of thinking about perhaps, maybe, sometime months from now becoming pregnant again, I daydream.

It would be nice to be pregnant for the first time again. All the freedom. All the wonder. All the excitement. All the support. And all the dreams of what was to come.

And then I think it would be nice if I could split myself somehow, so that I could go on living the life that I'm living now, but also have this other life, this new life, this making-a-different-decision life.

It's nice to feel the flexibility, to not feel trapped in one life forever and ever amen. And it is always nice to dream.

6 comments:

Sarahlynn said...

Hey, check out the nifty way my blogger comments are in a separate box now! Cool.

Ms. Polkadot said...

Totally. I almost blogged about that once. I hadn't quite thought of different lives, but I wish (like seriously sometimes, as if it's really going to happen) that I could at least hop back and forth in my own life. You know, go from angsty youth to comfortable family life now. Then back to some freedom in my 20s when I feel hemmed in. And back again.
It'd be nice.

Sarahlynn said...

Yes!!

Moreena said...

Oh, I so enjoy your writing. And the way you express this feeling, which can feel rather guilt-inducing to me, in a way which is completely non-guilt-inducing.

trisha said...

I always wonder what it would be like to experience a neuro-typical Robbie...

none said...

I sometimes daydream about having a second child. Even though there are about ten very good reasons why it should never be.