Intuition

I want to say something about intuition, but I don't know what to say. I don't really believe in it. I believe that intuition is just the right brain doing its thing really well. Intuition is picking up cues and putting things together so well that we don't even understand what we're doing.

But I can't deny that I have experienced intuition that goes way beyond that. When I was a child and teenager, I could tell what people were like inside. I could tell when people were being fake and when they were honest. Friends would gush over a movie star and I wouldn't understand what the fuss was about. I could see what he was really like, and he was not handsome at all. It's possible that I just had a teenager's black-and-white world view, but I usually think it was more than that.

More seriously and more recently, there is Ellie. When I was pregnant I had those middle-of-the-night panic attacks where my body was trying to tell me that something was wrong. There was no reason to assume that Ellie wouldn't be healthy. It was a perfect, relatively easy pregnancy. The ultrasound had been fine. How did I know that all was not as it seemed?

And how did I know that the surgery would go well? I don't know. I can't analyze this. But I believe it and am grateful for it, nonetheless. I don't like surprises. I like to be prepared.