Scotland 11

Friday, 22nd June

It's pretty dark out; we're pretty far south here. I'm tired. It's nearly 12:30 am (4 hours until the alarm) but this was a nice day to let settle for a while before recording.

Ada did not sleep well last night, and Ellie got up at 5:30 this morning, then was a little fussy for the next several hours. Not today, but a few times this trip she's asked to go home or, failing that, to Vivi's house (a 3-year-old friend). Vacation's almost over.

Paul was irritable this morning, so I, in turn, became irritable. And it's hard to manage two very young children while getting ready and packing and loading luggage into the vans.

At one point, the girls were on the bed and Ada's voice became a little more muffled. I looked over to see Ellie sitting on her little sister! When I pulled Ellie over to her own bed and explained that we don't do that, then asked her if she understood me, she gave me "Down's face." Lots of people will let her get away with that in her life, perhaps even me sometimes. Sleepwalking, -talking, -crying, or just ignoring me?

Anyway, the trip from Stirling to Edinburgh was terribly long in stop-and-go traffic. Ewan is a ridiculously jerky driver. Eventually, concerned about time and hungry Ada, I said that I wanted to scrap Rosslyn Chapel in favor of more time on the Royal Mile. Mass chaos ensued.

To stay all together or split up? Where to meet up and when? What to do first? Where the heck are we and how do we get to where we're going from here? (In the cold rain, as I'm nursing Ada while walking.)

Eventually we found the Royal Mile and things started to look up. First off, we saw a Starbucks and got mugs for Elizabeth and Scott (good friends, Starbucks lovers, and he's currently in Iraq). I enjoyed a delicious cup of hot chocolate as we walked up.

St. Giles Cathedral. I was initially uninterested (like Paul and Ellie) but once I went inside I enjoyed it very much. At least as much, I enjoyed how much my father was enjoying himself. By the time we left, I was relaxed and happy.


Steep hike up to Edinburgh Castle, where we had lunch and the weather began to clear. We followed a tour group but didn't hear much, for chasing after Ellie. The 1:00 gun was neat (loud!) and I got to see the flash. Big. Old. Neat joining of rock and castle stone. Paul was impressed by the good traction design of the stone roads.




Back down the Royal Mile, a tiny spot of shopping, pictures in front of the Cathedral, moving on, long walk, crushing weight of backpack, trade Ellie to Paul for Ada - finally at Holyrood!


Neat audiotour of the Palace. I really enjoyed seeing a real royal residence, as it's still used today. And we saw Princess Anne leaving in a car!

I also really enjoyed seeing the actual suites of rooms that belonged to Henry, Lord Darnley, and Mary, Queen of Scots. The real places where the famous events happened! Such history.

Then another long, fast, hike, better for me now that Paul has Ellie and the diaper bag. She's up from her nap and squirmy. Ada has been fantastic all day in the Snuggli or nursing as we walk around.

We tried to find the appointed meeting place, but it's ridiculously unclear (sarcastic: Thanks, Ewan) and more mass confusion ensues. Eventually we were all found and could head for the hotel, which is on the opposite side of the city from the airport and turns out to be . . .

A Best Western, and pretty typical of its genre. On the plus side, it's clean and has the most comfortable (newest) mattress of the trip.

Off to sleep now. G'night.

Scotland 10

Thursday, 21 June

Alas! It's almost over. So bittersweet. And this is our last night in the hotel that approaches perfection asymptotically.

This morning, after breakfast (porridge and egg on toast, with a few more tastes of porridge for Ada) we loaded up the vans and went into Stirling to shop. No suit for my dad (apparently, he's a hard size to fit) so we piled back into the vans.

Nearby was Bannockburn, monument and visitor center dedicated to Robert the Bruce, in suburban Stirling. That's just about all I know about it, because Ada was pretty much inconsolable. Poor dear seems to be cutting a tooth. I changed her, dosed her with Tylenol, and nursed her to sleep, then we set off in the vans for Callendar.


We saw the visitor center commemorating Rob Roy MacGregor (note: first movie lame!) and grabbed quick lunch for the road. Paul stayed in the vans with the girls this trip so that they could both nap.

A few miles up the road we stopped at a wool mill to meet Hamish the Highland cow, whom Paul fed and Ellie enjoyed looking at from a slight distance. Then on to Balquidder and Rob Roy's grave. This was in a neat Kirkyard and I was bummed that we missed church here last Sunday. Really cool baptismal font, great little kirk, and neat to see the ancestral stomping grounds.



Next we headed back east of Stirling to Falkirk to see the Falkirk Wheel, a unique lock system for raising/lowering boats from one canal to another. The lock was cool, but might it have been cheaper to dig a canal at a gentle angle?

When we disembarked, Ellie said, "Park!" and she was right; there was a large playground past the lock. She walked all the way over there and was disheartened to see that there were no swings. She was willing to accept being pushed while lying on a small rubber hammock in the teen section of the playground, however. She had a great time swinging, climbing steps, crawling through a metal tunnel and backsliding down a slide, and repeating all of it. Then we found a feather on the grass (here's hoping no bird flu!) and she walked all the way back to the vans.


Fun, warm, sun, and a nice treat just for sweet Ellie, who has been amazing this trip. Back to the hotel by 6:00, leftover mac & cheese for Ellie (from lunch) then to bed with her by 6:45. Not quite so for poor, cranky Ada, who preferred everyone to me today and even fussed adorably at me while nursing -

- speaking of which, look who's up -

Scotland 9

Wednesday, 20th June

They have a 24 hour day here, and I don't just mean the sunlight. The hotel room clocks don't have am/pm; right now it's 21:58. As for daylight, we're further south now, at Stirling, and by 12:30 it was as dark as St. Louis in the late evening, which is to say that it was deep blue way up in the sky, as though a city nearby was causing a slight glow. Further north, I never noticed it getting even this dark, here in the week of the summer solstice.

We woke to cold rain this morning, after yet another night of Ada in bed with me, nursing. (Look at her sleep: almost unbearably precious!) We had a hot breakfast in the sunroom while the rain pounded down all around us, then loaded into the vans. No Stirling Castle this morning; we headed east instead.

The babies slept all the way to Falkland Palace, then I nursed Ada for a hour and a half as we explored the place. Much of the palace is in ruins. Some of the "newer" (16th Century) building has been restored and decorated with original furnishings. The keeper still lives there (in converted stables) and the tennis courts are still used, as is the Catholic chapel. Note: the Queen is the head of the Anglican Church, but she owns a Catholic church! The docents here were so interesting, informative, and helpful!

Did you know that it's rumored that if Charles becomes King, he might call himself George VII to avoid the controversy over his Christian name: to count Bonnie Prince Charlie or not?

Falkland Palace was yet another place we didn't expect to see and ended up loving.

On this vacation we will hopefully see castles in every state: the ruins of Armadale, open rooms full of lichen and ferns; partially ruined and partially habitable Falkland; intact and partially restored Stirling; and, hopefully, the fully habitable - and current royal - Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh.

The weather cleared up. We got to Stirling Castle and had lunch before our guided tour - very interesting and informative that was - and then we had a little time to walk around before meeting back at the vans.

Paul had Ellie in the backpack at Falkland, sling at Stirling, and his back is really bothering him. (I had Ada in the sling at Falkland, Snuggli the rest of the day.) I'm stiff too.

The four of us explored the Palace, then walked the north ramparts. Amazing views.

After a stop in the gift shop, we drove over to the monument to William Wallace (Braveheart). 246 stairs to the top, after the bus ride up to the base. Paul had Ellie in the backpack (thank you, Phil and Amanda!) I had Ada in the Snuggli, and we climbed them all! Then walked back out rather than taking the bus back down to the car park.



Next, we headed back to the awesome hotel and plopped the girls into the big bathtub together. Both loved the experience. We ordered "room service" pizza for Ellie and put them both down by ten after 7, only slightly late for drinks with my family in the bar.

Less time in the car today!

Tonight, I ordered the Guinness pie and creme broulee. Paul had the fried Camembert, beef stroganoff, and banoffee. It's easy to see why our pants are tight despite much walking with heavy children all day! That's without even acknowledging the shortbread in the car.

Note that the awesome hotel has a baby monitor, which makes our dinners 100 times more fun! Here's hoping that Ada is willing to sleep in her own bed some tonight (she's not, right now). Tomorrow: tweed suit shopping for my dad, Callandar House, Balquidder and Rob Roy.

Now back to my Scottish mystery novel. 22:23.

Scotland 8

Tuesday, 19 June

After showers - an event Ellie vastly prefers in theory rather than in practice - and a last full Scottish breakfast (toast, porridge, and sauteed mushrooms for me) we checked out of the budget hotel and piled into the vans by 9:00.

We headed south and east, a route we've taken before, at first. As always, there was lovely scenery, and at one point we stopped for a photo op. We stopped very briefly at Spaenbridge again (tammies for all the babies) and then headed to Pitlochry for lunch. Pitlochry is a picturesque little shopping community. We had a lovely lunch at a nice cafe, and Paul and I finally tried haggis!


After lunch, we did a little souvenir shopping. Ellie and Ada were tired (backpack on Paul, frontpack on me) and we quickly learned that items marked "Sale!" were not made in Scotland. Still, we did get a few nice things.

A mile or two from Pitlochry was Edradour, the smallest, most exclusive distillery in Scotland. They produce only 15 casks of Scotch each week, all by hand. We bought a little but missed the tour (no little ones allowed).

After the distillery, we headed for Stirling. I was trying not to get my hopes up for the new hotel. Wow, oh wow! My first thought (and my second, and my third) was that I wanted to live here. It's a brick-and-frame Tudor about 10 minutes from the city, in a park-like setting.


There's a private bar where we gather for drinks before dinner, walking out to explore the gardens as we may. The food is plentiful, varied, and delicious. Can you believe orange juice as a starter at that other place? (Which has thus far remained nameless; it billed itself as a much nicer place than it was.) Tonight, I had fried Camembert followed by a vegetable risotto and some sort of banana/cream/shortbread/caramel dessert. Paul had prawns rose marie with melon followed by Guinness beef pie and a butter toffee cake dessert. Ellie (perhaps sensing the atmosphere) was fantastic throughout dinner, as was Ada, although we were locked out of our room - jammed antique lock - until well after 9:00. It took a little while to get the girls to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow, Stirling Castle!

Scotland 7

Monday, 18 June

Another full Scottish breakfast this morning, and I decided against the turtleneck that clings to my belly. Love that shortbread.

We packed into the vans at 9:00 and headed east to Inverness. Along the way, we peeked at the ruins of a castle that didn't make much of an impression on me, though the view over Loch Ness was lovely. (Paul loved this castle, because there was a GMC Jimmy parked next to where we stopped. He has an odd attachment to Jimmies, considering that he totaled the last two he owned.)

And then two fighter jets flew overhead! Back again! Pretty cool. RAF and Loch Ness.

As we drove further east, the Highlands became tamer. Everything was green and softer. (Have I mentioned that there are lots of ferns as ground cover? I'm told that this is where the midges live.) The hills are more rounded, the lochs further apart, and there's more flat space.

Sheep and cattle grazed in fenced pastures rather than mingling on the roads and beyond. Some fields even showed evidence of modern agricultural operations.

And Inverness was surprisingly large, not all right on the water, and sprawling.

Culloden battlefield was an interesting stop for me, though everyone else was very disappointed by the construction (to return it to its original state, including a less-obtrusive visitor center, though heavy machinery did disturb the mood.) Gabaldon did such a good job making the history come alive: Frasiers, MacKenzies, Camerons. Again, the punishment the British meted out after the battle was beyond cruel, easily approaching genocide.

After Culloden, we went over to Clava Cairns. Everyone enjoyed this. It was peaceful and quiet; we had the place to ourselves. Moss, ferns, evergreens, grass, stones, history, time to bask in the dappled sunlight, all was lovely.



Eventually, we headed back to Inverness for shopping, but I wasn't clear about what I wanted to shop for, apparently, because we ended up at a mall! We quickly left (though I half-jokingly suggested that we stop at Starbucks first) and found local shops nearby, including a Victorian Market. It was nice to get a flavor of the local city life, though tourism here - as elsewhere - seems to be the main industry.

A long drive back to the hotel (2 hours) and we decided to put the girls straight to bed, which has worked pretty well so far (11:30 pm) each up once and now sleeping again. I really enjoyed dinner with the other adults, though Paul and I did have to take shifts staying in the room with the girls.

Ada is kicking, time to sign off.

Scotland 6

Sunday, 17 June

Our bathroom reeks of cigarette smoke.

After a full Scottish breakfast, we headed out in the vans for a full tour of the Isle of Skye. This was a day of lots of driving and erratic stops: when not expected, not when expected, and sometimes we'd wake the kids to find out that it was a 5 minute stop. Alas. All very hard on the girls. All three little girls are doing amazingly well, although the two babies scream in the late afternoon everyday and both of my girls are done by the time we get back to the hotel, making dinner a challenge. (Tonight I had roast beef with Yorkshire pudding and Paul had haddock. Ellie had more pasta and bread. Amazing that she's not suffering from digestive problems.)

The Isle of Skye: How can this be an island? Amazing scenery - desolate and wild and and beautiful and sophisticated all in turns. Such high mountains, such amazing views, huge lochs, waterfalls, cliffs. Our driver, Ewan, who's never been to most of the places we're visiting, mentioned repeatedly how odd he found it, barren with nothing growing by grass and heather. It all seemed pretty green to me, though certainly less so, with fewer trees, than the mainland. Och, how I love the accents. Ewan is no longer quite as incomprehensible to me.

Everyone really enjoyed the scenery all day. Except the girls. Ewan suggests t-shirts for the babies that say, "I went to Scotland and all I saw was the back of a seat." Hah! So true.

An especial favorite of everyone's today was the ruins of Armadale Castle, home of Clan Donald. We learned such a tragic story about the MacDonalds of Gencoe yesterday; this was a welcome antidote. The grounds were amazing, and it was quite lovely to wander around, reading signs and displays, taking pictures, venturing up nature walks, coming back together, separating again, meeting up with Jessica, nursing the babies in the van, etc.

Also here: midges! Night and day, apparently. I guess you get used to them. They liked Ada's head. Often, I have Ada and Paul has Ellie. They're a lot of work . . . but they're worth it!

Scotland 5

Saturday, 16 June

We had a bit of a later start today; we were all packed up and downstairs for breakfast by 8:00 (that's 2:00 am for those playing along at home). This was a full, hot Scottish breakfast: much fun. Once I explained it, Paul was a little alarmed by his black pudding, but I enjoyed my porridge with cream and sugar.

Since the Oban hotel George usually uses was booked and we spend a second night in Dunoon, we started the day with a lengthy - yet still beautiful - retracing of yesterday morning's drive. The scenery here is exactly what I expected, and yet indescribable. That's not entirely true; I didn't imagine that the lowlands and the Trossachs to be so big, hilly, beautiful, sparsely settled, nor did I imagine the large evergreen forests.

Did I mention that it was a little warm and sunny on Iona? Just as it should be. The rest of the time, it's been cloudy, cool, windy, and even a little rainy, especially up in the highlands.

As we drove north, the "hills" got even higher, and the stunning landscape even wilder, with less sign of civilization and perhaps fewer lochs. The past seems close enough to touch, here, the English easy to hate, and the bones of the earth quite close to the surface.

The schedule is a really challenge for the little girls, who continue to do amazingly well.

We stopped at Glencoe, which was amazingly beautiful. Really stunning, and horribly tragic setting - on orders from an English commander, the Campbells slaughtered their hosts, the MacDonalds. Vile treachery here.

I wasn't interested in stopping at Glen Coe, but ended up loving it. I find myself wishing for a slower pace, less time speeding through the countryside, but I can't imagine what I'd want to give up from our itinerary.

We drove through Fort William at the base of Ben Nevis (the highest peak in Great Britain) before stopping for a quick lunch and heading inland to Fort Augustus, on the western end of Loch Ness. So cold! I stayed in the car with the girls; only LilSis and Paul put their feet in.

We drove back west to the accompaniment of Ada's screams (her nap having been interrupted at Loch Ness) until we got to Eilean Donan Castle, the most photographed castle in the world. It had closed early for a special event, but the current structure turns out to date from 1930. New!


We then headed a few miles over to Kyle of Lochalsh and our second hotel - this one for 3 nights. Apparently, the hotel on the Isle of Skye that George Wallace usually uses was booked, and this one, well, The Enmore had our expectations pretty high.

Our room is tiny: a narrow aisle for walking with our double bed, Ellie's cot, and Ada's portacrib all in a row. This would not pass fire codes in the States!

All three girls were a little tired and fussy at dinner, poor dears, and we had an unusual menu (distinct from the other diners in the hotel restaurant). Orange juice as a starter? Ellie and I had mac & cheese, a couple of people had chicken, and everyone else had seafood chowder.

Afterward, we all went for a walk along the water. All the signs are in Gaelic first, here in the Highlands, and English second. But there are very few kilts. I do want time to do some shopping.

Also, one small whine, if I may - let me say this about our new, low-to-the-ground-floor hotel: cheap toilet paper. But the toilet flushes and the bathroom's clean.

All the bathrooms are impressively clean here, many with gravity tanks.


Anyway, following my dad, we got stuck on a rocky promontory. Much hilarity ensued, and MiddleBIL videotaped it all. We walked through some midges, then back to the hotel for bed. 11:30, early for me tonight!

Scotland 4

Friday, 15 June

It is so lovely to be here with everyone. Ellie keeps rediscovering them (Unca Ben! Unca Ivan! Geese!) and enjoying their presence (Gah-ma! Guh-pa!). She loves her cousin, Arria (Why crying, cuzzin Reera?) and it is adorable to see the two babies together.

For the most part, we're all getting along very well, though my mother consistently and unintentionally sows chaos, as usual, and I find myself generally irritable and unpleasant. Paul too is exhausted and frequently seems to be moving in slow motion. Both girls continue to be amazing, though in need of some attention when tired.

The day started early, with en-suite cold breakfast at 6:30 and departure at 7:15 am. We didn't get to tour Inverary Castle, unfortunately, nor walk among the standing stones of Kilmartin.

We drove nearly 2 hours north and west to Oban, colloquially the capital of the western highlands and now my fantasy future home. Amazing scenery, water and mountains, islands and castles, ancient towers, a quaint little European city with broadband cafes, shopping, pubs.


In Oban we boarded a ferry - amazing scenery and fresh wind blowing on our faces - for a 40 minute journey to the Isle of Mull, where we climbed aboard a tour bus for the long drive across (half of) the island.

Way in the back of the bus, we couldn't hear a lot of the tour, but I enjoyed the bits I did hear. We saw a bronze age crannog in the middle of a small loch, which was Paul's favorite part of the day (I loved the ferry ride and Ellie loved the family proximity. Ada loved the extended nursing sessions on the bus and ferries).

Ferry-bus-ferry, and we were on Iona, the cradle of Scottish Christianity. (St. Columba came over from Ireland and founded a monastery on Iona, from which monks went forth to spread The Word throughout Caledonia.) This was the most important part of the trip for my dad.

We had lunch and attended a short worship service for peace and justice at the Abbey. (A service for peace and justice is pretty tough for someone with a lisp, my brother-in-law remarked. And, indeed, the officiate did have an impressive lisp.)

One of the highlights of my day was when we were waiting for a ferry back to Oban. Baby Arria was crying, and I had my niece in the sling while my sister held Ada, who was being sweetly quiet.

"What's wrong with your baby?" my sister asked me, loudly, in the middle of a large crowd of people.

"I don't know," I replied, patting the screaming baby strapped to me. "I'm just a terrible mother."

Hah!

Ferry-bus-ferry, and we were back in Oban to load up in the vans and drive back down to Dunoon for another terrific supper at the hotel. I had the "feathered fowlie" and Paul had the salmon; Ellie had pasta.

Have I described the hotel? The Enmore Hotel in Dunoon, overlooking the Clyde, is lovely. It's small and has a familial dining room, almost like a B&B. It's quite old, with creaky, uneven floors and threadbare carpets, but it's posh. The dining, especially, is first rate. Thanks to tips from my parents, I finally learned how to flush our toilet.

Also, both girls are doing great with the time change. And I complain about springing forward one measly hour at home . . .

Scotland 3

Thursday, 14 June

A very white-toothed George Wallace and an incomprehensible Ewan SomethingMuffled, our drivers, met us at the Edinburgh airport and escorted us to the waiting vans.

The flight in was overcast and our first views of Edinburgh and Glasgow (surprisingly close to Edinburgh) were obscured by the fact that we all kept nodding off uncomfortably.

After passing through Glasgow, we stopped in the village of Luss and all got out to walk around briefly. Lovely, lovely scenery. I was so tired.

I realized that I'm too used to being a tourist when I walked Ellie up to the window of cottage to look at a cat. In my defense, the small stone cottages were flat-fronted and flush with the road. I momentarily forgot that these were actual homes, not some Potemkin facade.

After a short visit in Luss, on the "bonnie bonnie shores of Loch Lomond," we piled back into the vans and drove north. We passed incredible scenery every bit of the way: lochs surrounded by munros.

I was surprised by the evergreen forests and related logging, though it seems more regulated here and not nearly as devastating as the clear-cutting I saw in the Pacific Northwestern US. For one thing, the trees were planted for this purpose and aren't ancient, native forest. (At least in part. What about Frasier Firs and Scotch Pines? All domestic?)

The Village of Arrochar, Lochs Long, Fyne, Eck, all lovely, all obscured by two overtired babies screaming in the middle seat of the van (Ada and cousin Arria). Ellie was absolutely, phenomenally well-behaved.

Behold: Rest and Be Thankful:

Indeed!

Finally, the babies fell asleep and we arrived at our hotel for the first two nights.

The Enmore Hotel in Dunoon was quite lovely, and we had the place nearly to ourselves. Paul, Ellie, Ada, and I had a two-room suite with an en-suite bathroom (given the many signs, apparently this is a major selling feature at B&B's around the country). All was old and cozy and charming.

Dinner: we met in the parlor to have drinks and order dinner. After a while, we were escorted into the dining room for rolls (delicious Scottish butter!) dinner and dessert. Excellent food. I had a traditional meal with vegetarian haggis (working up to it, here) and Paul had the sole. Ellie had vegetable cannelloni.

After dinner, we were all exhausted. We missed a night's sleep last night, you know. Paul and Ellie passed out, and I eventually fell asleep with Ada nursing in our bed.

At 12:30 am I awoke with a start - Ellie had climbed out of her cot and was running through the bedroom door! Through the sitting room! Out the door! Down the hall! Toward the stairs! I caught her and took her back to bed. When she tried to make another break for it - never once responding to or acknowledging me - I plopped her into bed between Paul and me and moved Ada to the portable crib.

We all slept soundly until the morning alarm.

Scotland 2

13-14 June, Wednesday becomes Thursday

We sat in the bulkhead row right behind business class: Paul, Ellie, Ada, and I in the four seats across the middle of the plane; MiddleSis, Niece Arria, and MiddleBIL in the two seats with bassinett on the left. My mom and dad and LilSis and LilBIL were on the right, several rows back in the next cabin.

Ada did great on the flight, as long as she was being held and nursed. The little seat belt she had to wear was so silly! It was a loop that attached to my seat belt, as she sat on my lap, and was obviously far less safe than her "not allowed" infant car seat, stowed in an overhead bin for take-off and landing.


Ellie watched 1-1/2 movies then alternated sleeping in her daddy's arms and on the floor (shhh) for the rest of the flight. The trip would have been far more stressful without the portable DVD player.

Our 6:30 pm Chicago time flight became 12:30 am and we arrived in Manchester at 8:30 am. After some confusion and a wait (our first British meal! and shopping!) we arrived in Edinburgh mid-afternoon.

Aside: We flew BMI, an airline I'd never heard of. On every leg of our journey (that's 4 altogether) there was mass chaos with the desk and gate agents. Once we were on the plane, however, each flight was amazing. The (hot!) food was delicious, there was plenty of overhead bin space, the flight crews were professional, the planes were bright and clean, they came around with (hot!) moist towels and (cold!) Ben & Jerry's occasionally, we were frequently offered bottles of water and (hot!) tea and coffee. A very nearly first-class flight experience both out and back. Highly recommended, but allow plenty of time for pre-boarding confusion, especially if you have young children.

Close

Wow oh wow oh wow.

We were supposed to be flying out of Glasgow last Saturday (we ended up flying out of Edinburgh instead).

I know I should be feeling horror and grief, but my main feeling right now is elation that the plots in both London and Glasgow were thwarted.

In 1994, my family and I traveled to Jordan and Israel. There were areas of the West Bank that we were unable to see as planned, because a Jewish man from New York had recently opened fire in a mosque during prayers, killing a lot of people there. Another mosque we'd planned to visit was also closed, and we had to scrap the planned Egypt leg of our trip because it was deemed unsafe at the time.

We passed regularly through checkpoints where very very young men with big guns stood around our vehicle. Our driver changed the flag in the back of the small bus depending on the territory through which we were traveling.

I was 19 at the time, invincible, and wasn't terribly scared by the whole experience, though I was incredibly moved by it all.

I am 32 now and I know that tragedy can strike anywhere, at anytime; no one is immune, least of all me.

Knowing that is one thing, living it is quite another. I can't really imagine what it must be like to live in the Middle East, or to go to work every day in a likely terrorist target.

In 2002, shortly after they reopened National Airport in Washington, D.C., I flew into it for a sales call in northern Virginia. I couldn't believe how close we came to the Pentagon on our approach. During my meetings, from the office building's windows, I could constantly hear and see airplanes: so low, so close. By the time I departed for my relatively safe Midwestern suburban home, my blood pressure must have been sky-high. I remember wondering how so many people living and working near there handled the stress.

My prayer are with . . . the world. Who doesn't need them, at a time like this?

Scotland 1

Tuesday, 12 June

The girls and I all have piles of outfits nearly ready to go into suitcases. The dining room table is covered with other stuff to pack. I have run 7 errands already today. Paul arrives home from work at 5:30 and I take advantage of the opportunity to hand off the girls and look over all the outfits again before giving Paul the go-ahead to start packing.

We paused briefly for leftovers (clearing out that frig!) in the midst of our packing frenzy, but finally had all loaded into the minivan - with 5000 miles already, and not quite 3 months old! - by 9:45. PM. We dropped Lizzi off with friends and hit the road, sipping Starbucks.

Ada stopped crying by the time we hit Illinois, Ellie watched two movies ("Elmo" - Nemo - and "Nsters" - Monsters, Inc.) before falling asleep, and we arrived at my parents' house at 3:00 AM.

Wednesday, 13 June

By 1:30 PM, we were all freshly showered and waiting out on my parents' lawn with our luggage. The neighbors came outside with their cameras; we were quite a sight. We loaded into a small, chartered bus for the long trip to O'Hare (traffic).

Once at the airport, there was mayhem in the form of an enormous flight to Hyderabad and confusion in the form of desk agents who didn't know what to do with our party.

After security (liquids, pastes, & gels, oh my!) we had time to pop into the restrooms then board our plane. Good thing we left home so early! Navigating the airport with young children and no stroller is no fun. Also, Ellie does still fit in the sling and can sleep there!

My shoulders are a little sore.

Points of Connectedness

Our marriage therapist is leaving us (moving away) which is very sad, although my sister (also a marriage and family therapist) tries to spin it positively. Before our marriage saver leaves, she'll help us to "transition" to a new therapist, who might be able to take us further, or in a different direction, or whatever.

Anyway, at our session this week, we were discussing our homework, which was to think of points in our relationship where Paul and I have felt particularly connected.

Every single item on his list involved sex.

My list was even shorter: I felt like Paul and I had an unusual connection, that we were always on the same page, that I could share anything with him without fearing an unsatisfactory reaction. So, basically, my answer was, "Every day, all the time, for about 9-1/2 years."

And now I understand why I felt this way. Here is the way Paul and I have been communicating:

Sarahlynn has an opinion and expresses it. (a not-so-shockingly common event)

Paul says, "Uh huh," or, "Yeah."

Sarahlynn hears: I completely agree with you.

Paul means: I acknowledge that you're speaking to me, but for various mysterious reasons of my own, I'm not going to carry the conversation any further just now.

Ah hah!

Sunshine, Breeze, Warmth

We were up late packing last night, and Ellie woke up ridiculously early this morning (excitement!). Paul took Ellie into her room to try to get her back to sleep, and we all fell back to sleep. Soundly asleep.

At 6:15 the phone started ringing. I was completely confused and jumped out of bed to try to find and stop the racket before it woke one of the girls. There's a phone in our room, but I keep the ringer turned off, so I didn't even think about it and just ran for the kitchen phone.

By the time I got to it, the answering machine had picked up, so when I answered the phone the machine started making a horrible screeching noise. It took me several long loooong seconds to find the off button, all while I'm speaking basic gibberish into the phone.

The laughing man on the other end of the line politely apologized for waking me up, then explained that he was at the airport and had a passport for delivery to an Eleanor, slated for "before 7:30 am delivery" and needed to confirm that someone would be home to pick it up.

We would indeed! And we had Ellie's passport by 6:45 am on the day of our scheduled departure.

In other news of great sunshine and delight, Paul's sister and her husband had their first baby today! Welcome, baby Abby!

Good friends of ours had their second baby yesterday. Welcome, baby Xavier!

Both births were natural, healthy, and, it seems, exactly what the mamas wanted. It is indeed a sunny day today.

Now it's time for my June blogging hiatus. Enjoy the house, sitters!

Trendy Bob

I just had my hair cut, and I am miserable, but I am not crying about it because certainly there are more serious things for me to be upset about.

Like my marriage. And Ellie's passport still not being here. And the fact that I can't seem to find a place to be alone for even a moment in my own house, being blessed with a husband and two children who require my physical and emotional presence at all times. Oh, and the not-so-minor fact that my best friend's husband is in Iraq.

Now that things are in perspective, back to my haircut.

We made ourselves a budget two weeks ago. In an attempt to keep to it, I decided that the expensive haircuts I got every 3 months last year were a luxury we can ill afford this year, so I went down to Great Clips for a quick trim before our vacation.

I thought things were pretty clear. "I haven't had a haircut in 6 months, so I need some length taken off," I said. "I have some natural wave to my hair, and I like that. I curve my it under at the ends, and like my hair to fall about here when it's dry" (indicating a point in the middle of my neck, well below the chin).

"Below the chin, dees is goot length for you," she said. "And you wear eet curled under on bottom?" She went on to explain to me that I have a lot of hair, thick, full, healthy, I'm lucky, etc. And that the hair on my neck would cause the rest of my hair to curl out. So she was going to thin it. OK. For the first time ever, I experienced clippers on my neck, but I was not afraid, because Helga and I were clear on what I wanted. She pulled out a razor and did something with it while I tried not to notice.

Then she had me lean forward and she started cutting. I became a little concerned about how much she was cutting off in back, but she explained that it would be a leetle shorter in back than in front, which wouldn't be noticeable but would give the cut a much trendier look, like Charlize Theron's trendy bob. Uh, OK.

As she cut the sides, it became apparent that I was going to hate this.

When I'm uncomfortable with my weight (love of eating combined with newborn baby/lack of time for exercise) and the way that it adversely affects my chinline, guess what I want least? A super-short haircut that hits the middle of my cheek when dry and leaves my entire neck exposed.

Especially when I'm about to go on vacation to somewhere humid, where I expected my natural curls to fly wild and free around my head in most romantic fashion.

Why-oh-why did I not procrastinate on this haircut?

My hair is too short for a ponytail, too short even to keep behind my ears. Just long enough to get in my eyes.

Damn it.

The Schedule

We had a 2-1/2 hour special town hall meeting at church this afternoon (5/20) about a painful controversy that's been festering under the skin of our church for at least 14 years in its current incarnation. I've been a member of this church for 7 years and only realized that this issue was serious, more than a humorous mild irritant, about a year ago. Now, even church visitors can tell it's a mess.

Here are some of my reflections after the meeting:

Money talks and people listen. Except that that's not the way the reformed church is supposed to work. "Several families" have withdrawn their financial pledges, and the church needs donations to continue its good work. But the church shouldn't be easily bullied, either. Gifts to God shouldn't come with strings attached.

One woman got up to speak and toxic waste spewed out of her mouth. Her diatribe was full of innuendo, veiled threat, and vague criticism.

"Lots of people" are really unhappy about this.
"I thought we were hiring" a minister who would do what we wanted.
"I never thought my family would consider leaving, but - "
We're in the middle of a capital campaign. "This is the worst time" to piss people off.

At one point, she suggested that we just "buy another minister," and my shocked gasp/gulp/choke was clearly audible throughout the sanctuary. Others started murmuring and looking uncomfortable. She looked around and clearly didn't understand what she said wrong (ditto with all her previous threats to withhold money pledged to the completion of our new building). Finally she realized what people were reacting to - or someone explained it to her - and said, "Oh, hire, call, whatever. Get a new guy in here."

"Being heard" means the same thing as "getting exactly what I want," apparently.

Compromise is unacceptable. So is taking time to deliberate and do the process right; the session just needs to do what these people want, immediately.

Fortunately, our new minister didn't back down. And he said that he'd rather hold 4 more capital campaigns to pay off the new building than accept one dollar with those sorts of strings attached. Score one for the new guy.

Unstately

Dear Department of State,

I am very angry with you. I hardly know where to begin. The whole process of applying for a passport is nigh onto ridiculous anyway, but like hundreds of thousands of my fellow Americans, I gamely filled out forms, stood in line at the post office, and jumped through hoops without complaint.

Then I waited, and waited, and waited. My checks cleared. Still I waited.

Look, your website and recorded messages say that due to the increased demand for U.S. Passports, it is currently taking up to 10-12 weeks to receive a passport. So please apply early, etc.

I mention your website and recorded messages, because they're my closest points of contact with you. This, of course, increases my frustration exponentially. I cannot get to a live person on the phone, despite calling over and over and over, at various times of day. I can't get a response to my emails.

And listen, civil servants, I applied more than 12 weeks ago, my "estimated date of departure" is less than a week away, and still I do not have my passports!

I would willingly hang around on hold for an hour or more, waiting for the next available representative. But, no, although my call is "very important" to you, all representatives are always busy assisting other callers, and my call cannot be answered at this time. Or any time.

I applied early, as suggested. I repeatedly checked the website for the status of my passports rather than bothering your representatives. I waited until inside of your magical 14 day window to call, as you requested.

You took my money. There is no reason why these applications are anything but straightforward. My problem is urgent. AND YET I CANNOT FIND ANYONE TO TALK TO ME.

Jerks.
--Sarahlynn

Passport Status:

Paul: Still has valid passport from our honeymoon. Lucky dog.

Sarahlynn: Passport renewal application submitted over 12 weeks ago. Approved yesterday. Scheduled to arrive in the mail the day before our departure date. I hope my mailman isn't late!

Eleanor: Needed a passport. Applied at the same time as my renewal application. Request still "currently being processed."

Adelaide: Needed a passport. Applied a couple of weeks later than Ellie and I, due to not having a birth certificate yet. Requested (and paid royally for) "expedited service" since window to travel date was smaller. Received passport weeks ago, although not within "2 weeks" promised with expedited service.

Unacceptable!

Chocolate Eval

I've never been a chocolate lover. Quite the opposite, in fact. As a child, I sucked my thumb: my right thumb, which I called my vanilla thumb. Sucking my left thumb felt as weird as sucking someone else's thumb, and I called it my chocolate thumb to mark the difference between preferred and non-preferred. I've been known to pass up dessert if chocolate was the only option available.

Then I got pregnant with Ada. I think that Ada is going to be a chocoholic, if the way I felt during my pregnancy - which just happened to span the winter holiday gorging season - is any indication.

I thought that, perhaps, I'd go back to normal after she was born, but apparently this is the new normal. Oh, how fortunate for all those lonely pants languishing in a "too big" box down in the basement.

My new drink at Starbucks is hot chocolate, and oh, is it delightful. In fact, I think that all brands of hot chocolate are quite delightful, though some versions are better than others. Land o' Lakes can't make a bad flavor, but the Swiss Miss Diet packets are less fun than drinking plain hot water. A lot less fun.

As for actual blocks of delicious chocolate, here is a meltdown of my favorites and not-so-favorites:

• Frango, all varieties: quite good
• Hershey's, without toffee: quite decent
• Nestle: aren't we supposed to be boycotting them or something?
• Ghirardelli: I know that I'm supposed to love this, but it tastes like chocolate-flavored wax to me
• Godiva: divine, indeed!

What kind of chocolate do you like best?

I Don't Get Enough Sleep

My day can be summed up like this:
Today was the first day of Ellie's summer vacation from preschool, and it rained. Meanwhile, she greatly improved her success rate at manipulating interior doorknobs.

On a related note, Ada didn't get much of a nap this afternoon.

More happily, our new stroller came yesterday, and the girls both like it very much. Ellie can climb in and out on her own, which I love (as does she). My main complaint is that the cup/snack holders are wide and shallow, so they don't hold a cup very effectively. The main functional issue at this point is that Ada seems to prefer her hood pulled over her, reducing glare. Ellie prefers Ada's hood to be pushed back, so that she can see her little sister better. So far, I'm happy with our choice. In two trips around the block, I had no significant problems. Paul thinks it could be a little taller (he's 6'4") but wasn't bent over uncomfortably for his trip around the block.

I've invited our new minister and his family over for dinner on Monday evening. That feels like a scarily grown-up thing to do. And it turns out that he's a gourmet chef, primarily with Italian dishes. So I decided to cook a Thai meal. My cooking confidence took a big hit this evening when, for the first time ever, my Béchamel totally failed during a routine dinner prep. I didn't even think that was possible. Now I'm going to attempt something much more complicated, and for company.

Happy weekend!