Our marriage therapist is leaving us (moving away) which is very sad, although my sister (also a marriage and family therapist) tries to spin it positively. Before our marriage saver leaves, she'll help us to "transition" to a new therapist, who might be able to take us further, or in a different direction, or whatever.
Anyway, at our session this week, we were discussing our homework, which was to think of points in our relationship where Paul and I have felt particularly connected.
Every single item on his list involved sex.
My list was even shorter: I felt like Paul and I had an unusual connection, that we were always on the same page, that I could share anything with him without fearing an unsatisfactory reaction. So, basically, my answer was, "Every day, all the time, for about 9-1/2 years."
And now I understand why I felt this way. Here is the way Paul and I have been communicating:
Sarahlynn has an opinion and expresses it. (a not-so-shockingly common event)
Paul says, "Uh huh," or, "Yeah."
Sarahlynn hears: I completely agree with you.
Paul means: I acknowledge that you're speaking to me, but for various mysterious reasons of my own, I'm not going to carry the conversation any further just now.
Ah hah!
New Release Spotlight: Cara Putman
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Happy release day to author Cara Putman! In this suspenseful novel, Janae
Simmons left the small town of Kedgewick, Virginia, ten years ago to pursue
her...
3 days ago
3 comments:
(((Sarahlynn)))
I actually think it's good that I'm finally starting to *understand* this stuff!
I can finally see that my "but we talk all the time, about absolutely everything!" is mostly me talking and him "agreeing." I just expect everyone to be as comfortable expressing themselves as I am, and Paul's really no shrinking violet most of the time. Or so I thought.
Also, Paul would like me to clarify that there's much more to it than sex for him (of course) and something to do with power dynamics and vulnerabilities, more than just physical connection.
Many of us longingly dream of having longer sexual encounters that will leave us breathless. We see vivid and tempting displays of such pursuits on the television and in movies, read enticing depictions in books, and even hear others speak of long and enjoyable sexual experiences that blew their minds. Why then, aren’t you able to enjoy longer and greater sex? The good news is that, nowadays there are a number of ways apart from the impotence drugs (in case you want to know more on this you can check out this link http://www.buy-viagra-with-us.com/).
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