Points of Connectedness

Our marriage therapist is leaving us (moving away) which is very sad, although my sister (also a marriage and family therapist) tries to spin it positively. Before our marriage saver leaves, she'll help us to "transition" to a new therapist, who might be able to take us further, or in a different direction, or whatever.

Anyway, at our session this week, we were discussing our homework, which was to think of points in our relationship where Paul and I have felt particularly connected.

Every single item on his list involved sex.

My list was even shorter: I felt like Paul and I had an unusual connection, that we were always on the same page, that I could share anything with him without fearing an unsatisfactory reaction. So, basically, my answer was, "Every day, all the time, for about 9-1/2 years."

And now I understand why I felt this way. Here is the way Paul and I have been communicating:

Sarahlynn has an opinion and expresses it. (a not-so-shockingly common event)

Paul says, "Uh huh," or, "Yeah."

Sarahlynn hears: I completely agree with you.

Paul means: I acknowledge that you're speaking to me, but for various mysterious reasons of my own, I'm not going to carry the conversation any further just now.

Ah hah!