Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Grapes Don't Drink Wine

To say that I don't have a green thumb is to say that the egg carton elevator at the St. Louis Arch is not for the claustrophobic.

I currently have two dead-or-dying houseplants. This is frankly a bit of a relief. Killing them feels like crossing something off my to-do list. Their eventual demise is inevitable and now I have two fewer living things to care for.

But I decided to make one last stab at saving them. I watered the plants and set them under the florescent lights in the kitchen. A couple days later, their appearance was unimproved. But I did have an finger of leftover chardonnay sitting out on the counter.

What the heck? I thought. I'd give it a try.

Didn't work. Bye, plants! (Note that the pretty parts of the plant on the left are "silk." It was a gift.)

Actually, I do have one plant that looks great. It hangs just outside the front door and I get compliments on it from everyone who comes over and even from Ellie's bus drivers.

It's plastic.


RobMonroe said...

Ha ha! I did not realize that the one in front of the house was plastic! Wow. Don't tell people that, it looks real!

Sarahlynn said...

Paul has actually commented on the "new growth" the bottom more than once. And I even told him it was plastic when I bought it!

Anonymous said...

I doubt anyone who has read your blog for any length of time is fooled by your phony relief about the "eventual demise" of your plants. It's more like your attempt to educate what you see as the unwashed, backward masses who insist on plants composed of liberal socialist photosynthesis instead of good ol' patriotic fossil fuels.

And don't get me started on your so-called Chardonnay.

Sarahlynn said...

Bingol, I think I love you.