Unstately

Dear Department of State,

I am very angry with you. I hardly know where to begin. The whole process of applying for a passport is nigh onto ridiculous anyway, but like hundreds of thousands of my fellow Americans, I gamely filled out forms, stood in line at the post office, and jumped through hoops without complaint.

Then I waited, and waited, and waited. My checks cleared. Still I waited.

Look, your website and recorded messages say that due to the increased demand for U.S. Passports, it is currently taking up to 10-12 weeks to receive a passport. So please apply early, etc.

I mention your website and recorded messages, because they're my closest points of contact with you. This, of course, increases my frustration exponentially. I cannot get to a live person on the phone, despite calling over and over and over, at various times of day. I can't get a response to my emails.

And listen, civil servants, I applied more than 12 weeks ago, my "estimated date of departure" is less than a week away, and still I do not have my passports!

I would willingly hang around on hold for an hour or more, waiting for the next available representative. But, no, although my call is "very important" to you, all representatives are always busy assisting other callers, and my call cannot be answered at this time. Or any time.

I applied early, as suggested. I repeatedly checked the website for the status of my passports rather than bothering your representatives. I waited until inside of your magical 14 day window to call, as you requested.

You took my money. There is no reason why these applications are anything but straightforward. My problem is urgent. AND YET I CANNOT FIND ANYONE TO TALK TO ME.

Jerks.
--Sarahlynn

Passport Status:

Paul: Still has valid passport from our honeymoon. Lucky dog.

Sarahlynn: Passport renewal application submitted over 12 weeks ago. Approved yesterday. Scheduled to arrive in the mail the day before our departure date. I hope my mailman isn't late!

Eleanor: Needed a passport. Applied at the same time as my renewal application. Request still "currently being processed."

Adelaide: Needed a passport. Applied a couple of weeks later than Ellie and I, due to not having a birth certificate yet. Requested (and paid royally for) "expedited service" since window to travel date was smaller. Received passport weeks ago, although not within "2 weeks" promised with expedited service.

Unacceptable!