Senioritis

Remember that end-of-semester feeling, that just-before-break feeling, the way it felt the last weeks of high school after you'd been accepted into college?

I've been feeling that way for weeks. It was hard to concentrate - or care - at work. Lately, it's been hard at home too.

Paul has been feeling less motivated at work too. Every day, he thinks he's about to be called home to rush to the hospital, which keeps him from caring quite as much as usual about his work. He's ready for a 2-week "vacation."

My mom - expecting 2 grandbabies weeks ago - is feeling much the same way.

And now me . . . I've been impatient with Ellie's increased demands on me. I've been short with her. I've been trying to think about why, and this is what I've come up with.

I love her. I appreciate her need for cuddles and snuggles and reassurances, knowing that it won't be too long before I'll long for these days again. But this has been my life, unremittingly, for over 3 years. I'm actually looking forward to 2 days in the hospital, for labor, for time with a new baby, for family being here and taking over Ellie care - for a break from my life.

Well, all that plus I'm tired and sore and uncomfortable.

I have it much better than my sister, though. She's a week overdue herself, and has suffered for the last couple of months. She's got horrible edema - she's so swollen that she can barely operate her cell phone with her clumsy fingers. And her blood pressure is way high, causing vision issues and general fear and discomfort. She's showing no signs of being ready for labor (I'm talking about her cervix here, for those who care) so her doctor is reluctant to induce. She has regular blood work to check for pre-eclampsia and is on bedrest until she either goes into labor on her own or a c-section becomes much safer than waiting any longer.

One way or another, there should be two new babies in the family this week!