Friday, February 04, 2005

Depressing

The first summer we had in this house, Paul's parents came to visit. One night, we were all sitting around drinking iced tea and chatting. Paul's dad got a big smile on his face, and said, "There is nothing like sitting in your adult son's house and talking with him as an adult, as a friend." Several times during that trip and subsequent trips, he has returned to that theme: adult children as equals, as friends, owning a home, etc.

When I was a baby my mother used to hold me and nurse me and talk to me about how one day I would hold and nurse my own babies.

On my car I have those little sun shades in the back windows. These things are better markers for 'don't tailgate! kid in backseat!' than those "baby on board" signs ever were. Mine say, "Future Driver On Board" with the Volkswagen logo.

When I look at my daughter, I know that nothing is certain, except that things will be harder for her. I don't know if she will own a home or a car. I don't know if she will marry or have children. I don't know if we will ever converse as equals. It's crushingly depressing to think about what she might not be.

It's much better to think about what she is, now.

10 comments:

Jessica said...

Sarahlynn - what a poignantly beautiful post.

Jess

Smithie said...

(dissolves in huge hormonal (preggo? PMS?) puddle of sobs)

One of our best friends has an older (ten years) brother with Down Syndrome. In fact, going back several generations, eldest sons in the family have often had Downs. It probably says something that he does not want to do anything to change that in the future (screening etc). His parents love to relate to him as an independent adult, and he loves to relate them as an indepenent adult, and all three of them love to relate to Tony as Tony.

I realize that this is a very Pollyanna anecdote, but I swear I'm not dressing it up one whit.

Amy said...

Sarahlynn, that was a really touching post.

Psycho Kitty said...

Sarahlynn, I don't even know what to say. My heart is full.

blue said...

Looks like your daughter is a snow artiste. Thanks for sharing what's in your heart.

trisha said...

I love your writing.

Though, i never know how to respond to you. i always feel like such a doofus.

Sarahlynn said...

Ack! Why? You are definitely not a doofus. And, thank you. :)

trisha said...

You know, I don't know. I guess I just want you to like me.

Sarahlynn said...

I do! I do! And I think that Robbie is so lucky to have you.

trisha said...

Aww! I like you, too, and E is lucky to have you!