My Ass is Kicked

I notice that I'm not the only one blogging sporadically lately. Maybe it's the summer heat?

Once again, stuck without a good workout DVD, I slacked off on my basement elliptical routine. I decided that I needed more motivation, so I signed up for an weekly hour-long class called "Hot Mamas in Training." Today was the first class. Oh, boy. First, the weather. It was 86 degrees in the shade - plus humidity! - at 9:15 am.

Second, the company. There were about a dozen Hot Mamas there, plus a couple of leaders. There was one other mama with a slightly flabby ass. She was also the only other one in a t-shirt, though hers was cute and fitted and she wore it well, while mine is a size 2XL plain white tent, just the way I like it. All the other Hot Mamas, who well-deserve that title, wore cute little workout tanks. They also had larger loads. Many women had double strollers. One woman had a double stroller plus a newborn in a Bjorn on her chest.

Third was the workout itself. There are two levels of Hot Mamas in Training, and I chose the lower level (Level I). The routine is a "brisk walk" for 5 minutes (I had to jog to keep up) followed by a "break" to do jumping jacks, push ups, resistance work, etc. After two jog/jumping jacks cycles, I thought I was going to die. I was already lagging behind a little. "OK, Ladies, let's do some stretches then get this class started!" the leader said with enthusiasm. I nearly fell over.

At one point, the leader of the Level II class ("much harder!" they assured us) dropped back to check on me. "So, how did you hear about Hot Mamas in Training?" she asked. Pant pant. After 30 minutes of this fun, my feet burning like someone had inserted red-hot coals under my skin (damn planter fasciitis), shortly after successfully completing 25 push-ups with my hands and knees in dog urine and goose poop, I veered off for the parking lot. Done.

I have until next week to decide if I want a refund or to continue subjecting myself to this humiliation. I think I will probably choose continuing the humiliation. I will be a case study for the other women: "Do Not Let Yourselves Go!"