Friday, September 07, 2007

Calling?

I don't remember when I was last in a Cokesbury store, but after many years of subconscious avoidance, I dropped by today to pick up some books for the adult Sunday School class I'm leading again this fall.

I was wearing Ada in the sling and having a really good time, imagining myself buying and using everything in the shop. About this time, I noticed that I was clenching my right hand so tightly that my nails were digging into my palm. I started to feel a little panicky.

I felt like I had been running away from something for a long time. I felt like I was ignoring a calling, the most obvious calling, one of the first careers I ever considered (and rejected and considered and rejected). What child doesn't imagine herself, however briefly, following in her parent's footsteps?

But this is not what I want to do! This is not how I want my life to be!

And then I found myself in the marriage section, looking for a gift for a newly married friend, perhaps a book about adjusting to seeing herself as a spouse. And the books I found weren't what I expected for a United Methodist ministry. My choices tended heavily toward Dr. Dobson and an entire book built around dancing imagery - with the husband leading and the wife following.

And all I wanted was out. I paid for my books and headed for the door as quickly as possible. Fortunately, the urge has (mostly) passed. Again. For now.

7 comments:

Orange said...

Maybe you really want to be a Unitarian minister...

Seasonal said...

Sunday school! I have been recruited to teach for the very first time and I will admit I am horribly reluctant. I have the kindergartners, which is great in theory, but to be totally honest groups of kids wig me out. I feel socially awkward around them! Plus I have these fears that I will have a child in class whose family does not know about me and MY family, and who will cause a riot and ruckus because I am teaching and "recruiting" their younguns.

This Sunday is Rally Day, and next week I'm on for the first time.

Can you feel my panic? :)

PPB said...

Oh yes, I did the Cokesbury store to rule out a calling method, too! Remember, cokesbury serves a very wide audience---and has to stock the dancing stuff along with living the questions (my favorite adult ed curriculum).

Might want to think on that one again. It would sure be a good match to your gifts and interests. Of course, there are other things that would match those gifts and interests, too. (and yay for you teaching adult sunday school--that's the hardest one to recruit!)

Psycho Kitty said...

Aw, Orange, we Methodists are the next best thing to the Unitarians!

Sarahlynn, what about doing lay work, like Stephen Ministry? You know me, though, I like that borderline approach, cause I'm moody. A little VBS, a little summer Sunday School teaching, that's enough to satisfy me. The bible stores all freak me out, though.

Sarahlynn said...

Orange, I just can't imagine it. I've considered it, but I'm just too Presbyterian.

Seasonal, how was rally day? I would be petrified to teach the kids. Young adults are more my comfort level. Ah, people like me. Easy-peasy!

PPB, a new vocation, at my age? All that school? Then no way to pay off the debt? Endless evening meetings? Perhaps I'm making this even harder because I know what I'd be getting myself into?

I really want to do Living the Questions! Unfortunately, I don't think it works in 45 minute Sunday School blocks. But if they come out with a modified version, or if I learn that I'm wrong, we're so doing that one!

PK, I don't know. You Methodists might have the current edge on us Presbyterians, but the UCC are still out there in the foreground, I think.

I am an inactive Stephen Minister, believe it or not. Right now, I'm afraid of responsibility. Have you ever been into a Cokesbury? Mostly, it's progressive. And that's so comforting in a Bible store!

Psycho Kitty said...

LOL. I don't know, maybe I'll make it my mission to be the most Unitarian Methodist the world has ever seen! :)

I like the Catholic Store over the Bible Store. Really, that's what they're called in our town. The Catholic store's got more kitzch, less Dobson. I know Cokesbury, but I don't think we have one here.

I can totally see you as a Stephen Minister!

Seasonal said...

Oh Rally Day, it was a handful. I don't know how cut out I am to teach the children! :) That compounded with my own two running around, no one to help out in the nursery but me, and a handful of other things led to mommy meltdown!

I'd like to see about bringing Stephen Ministries to our church, but I don't know that we can do the expense for the initial layout. Hopefully someday!