Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Ways in which my younger daughter helps control my ego.
Subtitle: and why I should consider locking the bathroom door.

1) Ada likes to keep me company as I sit on the toilet. Perhaps this is purely altruistic; she does like to have company when she's in there. (As for me, I prefer solitude but as a parent one must make sacrifices.) She observes the way I look on the seat them keeps up a running commentary.

"Wow, Mommy, your bottom is so huge. So huge! I think you don't fit on that toilet seat, Mommy. I think it's too small for you. Ellie, come look at Mommy's bottom; it's huMONgous!"

She then proceeds to follow me around as I get dressed for the day, keeping up her feel-good patter.

"Mommy, your stomach is enormous."

"Yes, it is, and you know why my belly is so large right now."

"Because of baby Teddy. But look! It jiggles!"

2) I hurriedly finished the preparation of two large casseroles, one for now and one to freeze for after the baby comes. I'm a bit frazzled from all the extra "help" I've had in the kitchen, the fact that I'm heavily pregnant and uncomfortable, the fact that I have a tiny, over-stuffed kitchen, and the fact that dinner will now almost certainly be late. I trip over the dog as I step backwards and drop the aluminum foil, which unrolls all the way into the dining room. "Drat drat drattedy drat!" I am extremely frustrated but also secretly pleased that I haven't started shrieking like a banshee while hurling pots, wooden spoons, and curses.

"Mommy, you're not a very good cooker."

Thanks. "Do you like this food, honey?"

"Um. Yes."

"Then why do you say that I'm not a very good cook?"

"Because you tripped on the dog."

3) In a discussion about age, parent vs. grandparenthood, and death, Ada informed me that I will very soon have all white hair. And will be a grandma as soon as she becomes a Mommy.

Obviously she is part of the cause of my natural hair color's demise. But if I can control the age at which my daughter becomes a parent simply by controlling the color of my hair, well, that's a pretty good deal!


Topher said...

Let's try this again, a video on the dangers that are toddlers:


Sarahlynn said...

"What makes it worse is that they KNOW they can't be touched."

Thanks for the laugh!

HiddenChicken said...

I feel your pain. My son constantly "boings" my stomach. It's by turns awful and funny. The only good thing about it is that I can count on him to be brutally honest.

Interestingly enough, he thinks I'm beautiful and tells me I'm prettier than the models in magazines. I'd be flattered, but his criteria is pretty simple: if you look mad, you're not pretty. If you look happy, you are.

Sarahlynn said...

Love that! True beauty is only a smile away.